Speaking on whether it’s more selfish to stop someone from killing themselves or someone killing themselves. Thinks the one solution to depression is to “stick it out.”
Original video title: “What Is More Selfish? (Let’s Smile Again OK?)
Greg is a treasure chest of horrific and bad advice and this video really struck a cord with me. The first thing I found problematic about Greg’s video is the idea and assumption that depression is a phase. This leads me to believe that he has a difficult time differentiating basic human emotion in which we all experience and depression. Depression is a legitimate and sometimes serious medical condition that requires treatment by a healthcare professional. While there are individuals who may only experience short periods of feelings of sadness, anxiety, lethargy, and otter symptoms that encompass general depression, 15 million American adults, or approximately 5-8 percent of the adult population here suffer from more severe illness, which can be referred to as major depressive disorder or clinical depression. Major depressive disorder is a disabling condition that adversely affects a person’s family, work or school life, sleeping and eating habits, and general health. In the United States, around 3.4% of people with major depression commit suicide, and up to 60% of people who commit suicide had depression or another mood disorder.
This is where I feel Greg’s message can be misinforming and potentially dangerous. Clinical depression isn’t going to go away by “sticking it out”, it’s like any other medical condition and it requires medical treatment. While there are many factors that play into the development of clinical depression, such as psychological factors, heredity comes into play as well, and in some cases, its biological. This means our monoamine chemicals serotonin norepinephine, and dopamine are out of balance. These chemicals help regulate our moods and when these get out of balance, we can become severely depressed.
And this is what compelled me to write this post in the first place because telling someone who is experiencing symptoms of depression so severely that they’re contemplating suicide, telling them to wait a few weeks before killing themselves because their life will get better, is the worst and dumbest advice I have ever seen someone give about depression especially if depression is caused by a chemical imbalance. Waiting for your problems to go away or to start feeling better, you could actually start to feel worse and put yourself in potential danger to yourself.
There are also various types of long term drug abuse that may cause or exasterbate existing conditions as well. While depression develops in different ways and affects individuals differently, this is a condition that in general cases need to be treated with psychopharmocogy in conjunction with talk therapy. Saying depression is just a phase only further adds to the stigma of the mental illness community that many fight tooth and nail to stop. These are real feelings and real medical problems.
So with this new information and different perspective on mental health, one has to ask themselves again, which is more selfish? You know what I find selfish? That someone who may have a loved one experiencing clinical drepession so severely that their quality of life has deteriorated to the point were they feel suicide is a serious solution to their problems, that they make it about THEM and THEIR feelings and shaming that individual for not thinking about THEIR feelings when contemplating their own problems and suicide. This. is. not. about. you, and making their own personal problems which may or may not have anything to do with you, about you, only derails the discussion and invalidates the seriousness and maybe even the legitimacy of their illness.
Someone who is depressed needs a strong support system of friends, family, and peers to help guide and support them through the sometimes diffuiclult learning process of coping skills and learning to accept and adapt to your illness so that you can continue to lead a fulfilling and satisfying life. If you truly care about your loved one, do not shame them for being depressed and feeling suicidal. Do not shame them for sharing these feelings. Listen to them. Do not interrupt them, do not give your advice or “take” on the situation. DO NOT tell them how much they have to live for, this is trivializing. Just let them confide in you. Let them know that you’re there to support them and offer help when ASKED for*.
-Now, I’m going to inster a little caveat here and say, if your loved one is seriously contemplating suicide, has expressed he or she wants to hurt themselves, has a plan, and/or already has hurt themselves, this is now a serious medical emergency and you need to seek medical attention for them IMMEDIATELY. This is the time to either get them to the nearest hospital for a psychicatic evaluation or call 911 if it is extremely unsafe situation or they have already made an attempt on their life.
With treatment and a good support system, experiencing depression can be short term- but sitting on your problems and waiting for them to just go away isn’t how to do it!
Below are some links to national mental health resources, including suicide prevention resources.
- National Alliance of Mental Illness
- Mental Health America
- The National Council for Community Behavioral Healthcare
- Lifeline suicide prevention- can be reached by dialing 1-800-273-TALK as well
- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
Thank you!
My reply to her:
Re: Boring In Bed
Doll,
Thank you so much for writing me. This means the world to me.
This individual has presented so many misogynistic/abusive behaviors, I can barely take Youtube’s enabling anymore. It enrages me profoundly.
What you have told me just now is very important for this case - he has once again humiliated and shamed a rape victim and that is utterly disgusting.
I found his video extremely offensive, without even seeing your message. Knowing this just makes me feel like uploading my video was really worthwhile and it just confirmed my suspicions. Onision is very abusive and it’s horrible that he still is a part of this community, in which he makes money hurting and slandering people the way he does.
I understand that this is a touchy subject, but I would like to know whether I have your permission to make your messages public. I feel they would really help people understand that we are not “hating” on him, we simply have been deeply concerned about the effect he might have on rape & abuse victims. And also how there are people out there that watch him and take his words and his behaviors as them being acceptable, when they are not - we simply believe his actions shouldn’t be taken as an example and that they should NOT be enabled.
Please let me know whether I have your permission. I will respect it if you would rather not make this public.
Thank you once again for contacting me. I truly appreciate it.
I am glad you are seeking help and I hope that you and your husband sort any problems that you may currently be experiencing. Whether you choose to stay together or separate, I hope that you lead an extremely fulfilling and happy life. And please DO NOT BE ASHAMED for feeling the way you feel about sexual contact. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE, FEEL OR CONSENT TOWARDS ANYTHING THAT YOU DON’T WANT TO.
Sending you love.
Stay strong. <3Alex
****
And her reply to me:
Judge Judy: Onision v. Shiloh
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_kqkSA-BUw&feature=g-u-u&context=G274b02cFUAAAAAAAAAA
[submitted by: falulu]
Really?? Really your going to go on Judge Judy?? I haven’t even bothered to watch the video, I refuse to watch any of the Onision videos unless they are mirrored by someone else or someone is responding to a video and I hear/watch it from them. But I know for sure that if Judge Judy ever finds out about how “Onision” publicly slanders his ex’s, he won’t stand a CHANCE. I’ve watched the show, and she doesn’t take that kind of shit, nor would any normal human being. Sure he may get some money back and all that jazz, and I’m not really on anyone’s side, but why make the drama even More public then it already is?
